Trouble With Toast

What NOT to do in the kitchen (hopefully, this won’t become a regular feature) | July 18, 2008

After a brief hiatus from cooking (due to a lack of groceries AND a few days of being too tired/sick), I was looking forward to getting back in the swing of things and making this.  Scallops are one of my favorite foods, but they’re very expensive, so they’re a rare treat.  Plus, the recipe looked delicious while still fitting into my low-fat lifestyle.  What could go wrong?

Uh, lots of stuff, actually.

First, the fresh chives in my fridge had spoiled unexpectedly, so I had to leave them out.  Not a HUGE deal, but I think the orzo could have used the extra kick of flavor.  I did manage to cook the pasta properly, though, so that part of the meal was at least edible (albeit a bit bland).

On to the scallops.  First, like a complete doofus, I forgot to drizzle olive oil on my stainless steel skillet.  So, instead of having lovely, perfectly browned, seared scallops, the little bastards stuck to the bottom of the pan and were rendered inedible.  At least I remembered to cook the scallops in batches, so I only had to throw away half of the meal (which, at $11.99 per pound, still makes me fume).

I whipped out my nonstick skillet, not caring that it wouldn’t brown the scallops and just wanting to get the remaining food cooked so I could eat and then forget about the whole mess.  I did end up cooking them properly, but in my rage and disappointment, I completely overdid it with the black pepper.  After eating two scallops, I couldn’t taste anything else on my plate.

The moral of the story?  Even food bloggers can be retarded in the kitchen.  Have a great weekend, everyone…



  1. We have ALL done it. I do still think you are perfect in every way, though.

    Comment by Lemmonex — July 18, 2008 @ 5:31 pm

  2. At least it sounds like you weren’t completely retarded with dinner guests which is when retardation usually sets in with me. Or is that called drinking too much wine? Anyhow, guests are arriving in 2 hours, so I better get a move on.

    Comment by hereinfranklin — July 19, 2008 @ 9:39 pm

  3. While I am sure that this was an unpleasant experience for you, take heart in the knowledge that this is nothing compared to the gigantic screwups that a regular component of professional kitchens. Someday, after many cocktails, I shall tell of the time I watched ten pounds of truffles set ablaze.

    Comment by restaurantrefugee — July 21, 2008 @ 4:51 pm

  4. Lem: Smooches! You always know just what to say. 😉

    HIF: I haven’t done too many dinner parties (for lack of space, mostly)–but I assure you that plenty of retardation would set in if I had guests. Hope your shindig went well!

    RR: Ten POUNDS of truffles? On fire?!?! Oh me oh my. Cocktails and storytime, indeed.

    Comment by bettyjoan — July 22, 2008 @ 12:40 pm

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